10 years ago.. memory which lasts...

yesterday I cried... right at midnight... at dear's house.. its been a while ever since I cried... It was quite shocking because I cant sleep.. just hugged a cushion and cried... I was reading an article which was illustrating a bus crash at the north-south highway... I recalled what had happened 10 years ago... right on this date... 10th dec 1996...

I just came back from a Track and Field Malacca trip... it was an outing for the athletes... that time i was only primary 5... I came back to Singapore and then suddenly I received a phone call from my track coach that I had to rush back to school immediately... when i reached school, I saw all my teammates... some were tearing, some sobbing, most of them glumpy face.. the teacher brought me to a room... and then broke the news to me... "Sumiko, you must remain calm. We just received news that Yurou and Yutian have died in a bus crash on their way up to Genting with their family. " I remained stunned for that very moment... they are a pair of twins.. my only running partners... only the 3 of us ran the long distance event.. 800m...

Every training, when everybody is resting, 3 of us will still be training because of our long training routine... I can remember so clearly how the 2 of them run on each of my side... they have the similar face.. just that Yurou has a mole on the left side of her lips...

That bus crash killed 13 people... the bus driver was asleep and the bus swirved.. then crashed and went on fire... the whole scenery was chaotic... the fire was big... the news reported that Yurou and Yutian were asleep when the bus was on fire... their Auntie cant pull them out of the bus, their grandpa also perished in the fire...

It was a very bad year for me... I had to be interviewed by a lot of reporters... My face was taken and published... crying. The picture was 1/4 the size of an A4 size paper... It was a really bad phase for me.. had to go through counselling, psychological lessons. I cant eat for days and everytime I ran, I will cry while running. I had to run alone... and just keep feeling them with me... for the whole of the next year... I kept running because I wanna keep their dream alive..."to be a national runner"... though i have not achieved it for them... Their dream keeps me moving till now..

everytime I look back at what happened, I see their faces right in my eyes. Nobody can understand what I went through... its not easy... have been with me for 10 years... and I think this memory will always be with me...