to be a better person

I have stepped into a new stage of my life... with different kinds of people around me and different things that will occur.. different challenges and different opinions... I have officially moved home and started my practicum... life is so different now... i used to have lunch and dinner and even breakfast with friends around me... but now, dinner and lunch is at home, bought from the coffeeshop opposite my house... and I have it when i am doing some work on my labbie at home... its quite boring though... but no choice, people have to move on...yeah...

I guess the first 2 days of teaching went quite well.. not to talk about some devils in my class... however, this week is mostly observing what my Coordinating teacher is teaching.. starting from next week onwards, I will take over the class for PE. as for maths, my CT is on course for 4 days... I practically cannot observe her at all... sad .. but then I do have a chance to start teaching maths this week though... stressed ... but then life is all about challenges...

training resumes as normal for me... but I hate it when training gets affected... but somehow its true that I have to prioritize my things when I do my work... I have to be more responsible...

i guess I have started to change... for the better or worst I dun know... I used to be a very competitive person, wanting to win every race i take part in... now, I am just satisfied with winning top 10 positions... the determination to win is no longer that strong... I used to be very strong headed... and now, i just dun really bother about a lot of things...if I am in the wrong, I will admit it, I remember me having to keep insisting that I was right about everything I do... but now, I feel like a smaller lady...someone who listens more than i talk... I need to change... to be more responsible in whatever i do... I am going to be a role model...to my students... and whatever I perform will be held in the eyes of my students...

i only regretted not putting in enough effort for my studies in NIE... but nothing can bring it back.. only when the consequences happen then one really realises his/her faults...however, everyday is a learning lesson...what I have not done, I will make sure i make up for it...

for the last one month, I have been having quite a sum of stress... both from heavy workload and other things... I happen to flare my temper a lot of times... to people who are close to me such as the 3 gays... sometimes after flaring temper, I felt so bad, so guilty...SORRY guys... i know that I should have kept my cool, but so sorry... emotions ruled over my ability to stay cool... and suddenly i realise one thing... I am forced to mature... to be able to handle all sorts of comments, all sorts of situations... I no longer want to be a person who throws tantrums easily already... It's the best for me... really... though i will be challenged by my students, but is also my job to be able to educate them with the correct mindset... at home, I am trying my very best not to throw temper... well...I learn as I grow...

and the thing is, I realised that people do noticed the change in me... from the way i react, i act to the way i dress... I used to be a person who dun bother about how i dress... i ONLY wear sports attire... but now, I do try to dress up as a normal girl... i guess I have to...because when I go out with my friends, I have to make myself feel appropriately dressed to... and i got to learn to dress up as a MATHs teacher... not only as a PE teacher... well... i still liked to be casually dressed in my NIKE attire, however, As i grow older, I should dress up for some occasions... but its so difficult... been since young ever since I started to dress sporty... say about 11 years ever since i started track and field... however, I guess changing for the better will be splendid...maybe my gays partners will not get used to my change... but they say they will be glad if they see me in skirt! haah...

thanks gays and Lao da for standing here with me whenever I needed the support... I dun have to tell you all anything... maybe its the connection that we have, whenever i have problem, you all will call me or msg me.. out of no where... and I dun have to say a single thing, you all know what to say to comfort me... thanks...

i guess is am picking up now...and will try to be a better person from now on... I have been too childish, foolish, hot tempered and arrogant... will try to change...but i will always be the CHOR LOL sumiko... this is hard to change...

happy new year..

so long never blogged... i think the gays missed my blogging... sorry guys... have been super busy... ... yea.. some updates on chinese new year... see reunion dinner... the day I moved back home finally...'... had steamboat for dinner lol.. finally see our family together...

this is my brother having a big feast...

and me and junko...

then Yuko busy taking pictures of us with her camera...

and the whole lot of food on the table...

and then my mum savouring the dessert that Junko had made specially for us... Milo ice cum mango pudding...

and then they busy at work washing the things in the kitchen...

and then the next day was Chinese New year first day... we went to the temples as usual every year... on the bus we took some photos...

and at night we went to my Uncle's house for dinner... i was so tired.. i just sat on the OSIM massage chair... fell asleep... din even wanted to eat dinner... ate only a little bit...

and there my brother was... playing the piano... he was playing as he liked...haha and a lot of Jay Chou's songs...

the next day we went to my paternal's side ... and we went to Haw Par Villa for lunch... its a chinese restaurant with a museum inside... its quite grand though!

and then the museum...i took pictures with my cousin.. same age as me..!

and pictures having us and some figurines...

and junko and me trying to imitate them...

and then pictures of food from the past...

and pictures of me with Junko, Yingshi and Hongsing...

my hair was in a mess on that day... haha.... never bothered to do it up...

and then views of the place ... more pictures... the food was not that good... maybe because I refrained myself from eating much meat... I only ate vege and fish meat, other than that... i did not eat... i have since stopped eating chicken and other meat unless there is really no choice then I will have to eat chicken meat... haha...

and the next day, I went to the house of one of the members from MR25... it was short but sweet... people talked about running ..and it was fun stuff... i suddenly felt so young over there...

... din really take many photos...

and i went home feeling super bored after my usual daily swim and run... and i sent Lao Da a picture of me feeling bored at home... i wished him "must win number 1 ah"... he was playing mahjong... ahha...and in the end he really won... won over hundred bucks lol...must be because of this lucky star...

midnight fiesta

just came back from Midnight Fiesta... an event organised by my hall people... we were to go Chinatown and Geylang to walk walk and eat and shop... and so we assembled at 830pm at the roundabout... before that, ZY and XY were still contemptating whether to go or not... we thought the response will be quite poor... but in the end, it turned out quite well.. we even catered 4 buses...and there were actually quite a lot of people going! haha... now waiting to board the bus at the roundabout... me met the guys after my short run around the school... and then Jackie with his sling bag... ready to go shopping to fill the bag... and then a picture of us clearer.. aiyoh... my hair really looks ugly! waiting for it to grow longer... and then now... on the bus... I realised that they really look like green and red light... missing one Yellow light or else can become traffic light... luckily I was not wearing yellow...

and then I took a picture with Ruowei...my neighbour..

and then here is Baochern and Huimin... my opposite door neighbours...

and after a long journey... we finally reached Chinatown... Zy was feeling super hungry... so we grabbed a bite at the food street... and I had Soursop ICe cum honeysea coconut... both the guys had Tangyuan...

and then we were treated chicken wings from our beloved sports sec Zhenming...

and i took a few pictures while sitting down and savouring the food....

and we went shopping after that! woohoo... we shop and shop... see the same things over and over again... so squeezy! then Jackie bought pineapple tarts for Zy and me... one tin for each person...22 bucks each... its very sweet of him! haha.... and then as we walked, we came by this thing... the water was like splashes... then there were chinese characters showing in them...

and then we went to the Pasar Malam after that... went to walk walk lol.... just spending time off only...and we came by a shop... and I saw my hall president..! while I was walking towards him to ask him to help us take a photo... the shop holder threw this packet of dunno what near my feet... and Jianming, my hall prez went "ooi!" then I jumped... just as i jumped, the packet blew up! it was some type of fire cracker....haha and then we finally had a nice picture...

and then this is Jianming!.... dunno what was he trying to do with that big fire cracker...

and as we were waiting for Xy and Xiaohan, jackie showed me this msg that xy sent to him :"Dear Jackie, how are you? I'm fine. We are going down now. Hope to see you soon. Yours sincerely, Xueyuan and Xiaohan..."

we were all thinking whats wrong with XY ? got a screw in his head or what?? like he acting like some guniang or what... initially we thought the message was from Xiaohan... but nope!!

and after they arrived... we had some drinks at Maxwell market...

woohoo I love this picture a lot lol... super a lot... the last picture with 4 of us... before I officially leaves the hall....and finally a picture with none of us wearing hall clothes...but then there is an official "sperm donor" in this picture... you can approach him !

while going to Geylang...I took some pictures again! this is our Tour Guide-roger... ahah a freshie... a super cock freshie who talks lame jokes...

and the people who sat at the back...

and Xy and his beloved gf xiaohan...

and we finally reached Geylang... immediately, we crossed the road and head straight to eat Dou Hua and You Tiao... and see us gobbling food again... Jackie says have to go exercise tomorrow... we are eating too much

see their faces when they are busy eating...

and this is Xueyuan ... eating his food.... this is the stall we went to after the Youtiao and dou hua... he is really a glutton... he is not full after all the junk!

and then I caught Jackie smoking... when I saw him smoking... I WAS SMOKING from my HEAD!... so angry.... thought he wanted to quit... then smoke in front of us some more... but never mind... at least he explained that this is his first cigarette for the day... can forgive...

and then before boarding the bus back to hall , we took a photo... but I realised I cannot see ZY! oh my gosh... I am already so dark... he even darker... I called Ah Neh, think Zy should change his name to be called African... cannot make it la...

and then I took some farewell pictures with Zy and Jackie.... "told u all already, the next time we go out again... I will be slimmer and prettier and more girl! ok!Q"

and then we came back to school... I was packing my room and throwing all the rubbish when I walked out of my room and got a surprise... the waterpolo guys came walking towards my room... my gosh... Benedict was holding on to a photo frame... a real big one... A4 size... and then he started singing "AU Lang Syne" haha my gosh.. the guys were hymming.... and it really shocked and touched me a lot... I never expected them to do it... but they really knew what was the most important thing in my heart when I leave the hall... it's friendship... thanks a lot guys... you all made me cry again... but the tears were worth it... after you all left my room I called JD... then he was shocked.. he thought what I was crying about...really cried out loud....then I said " no friends have ever done such things for me before...".... its very touching...

there are some things which I had wanted to say to some people but can't say it in face....

To Xueyuan:

We have known each other for the longest time.. if i am not wrong, 15 years already... though in primary school, we were just acquintances...I feel very happy knowing you as a close friend now... Was glad to be able to bring you into hall 3, able to let u know your beloved Xiaohan here... let you have a chance to get to know everyone here in hall 3... YOu have been a great friend, being there for me when I really needed you to... YOu are a potential guy, haha... following my footsteps, into biathlong, running and swimming... but u even better... because You can play waterpolo and i can't.... and I am really happy to see you studying now and then. At least you make an effort to keep pushing yourself. You may seem to be very happy go lucky at all times, but I know deep inside you stays a lot of thought and aims... you are a good friend, good gay, good buddy, a good teammate... and our friendship will always remain... I will try to get you down for training as much as I can... dun worry, I will still train with u all.. so u still have a pacer! right! Xueyuan, so what you can achieve, sometimes being ignorant is also the best thing, but just be very alert... and you will make a good leader too in future... be strong on your stand but be flexible at times!

To Zhiyong:

We have known each other from IVP swimming and I know our friendship only blossom this year... nevertheless it also seems to me like as if we have known each other for a long time. Thanks for being my big brother who is always there to take care of me... thanks for bringing me into hall 3 and allow me to enjoy so much fun and laughter...everytime I look at you, I think back the times we used to train in IVP swimming. I used to keep asking you to come down for training last year... and I used to think that You have a great body and a great face! haha!... you have been a great motivator... a great friend, who never fails to listen to everyone's woes...when U were in trouble, we stood right beside you, that shows how important a friend u are to me... I never feel bored when we go out.. always have a lot to say...and everybody knows i USED to admire u a lot last time... yeah but its sooo much better being BUDDIES for life... ! I miss our meal times... our usual meet ups... our usual tok cock session.... i miss the good times...When i cry, you comfort me with your care... when I complain, you sit by and listened to me... sometimes even "ying chou" me and agree with me...many people say you are the MR NICE... I agree a lot!.. you are a nice chap with good looks... and a soft heart with a smart brain...your laughter never fails to brighten up my day... and everytime we go out, we will end up laughing ... it's really been great fun...thanks for everything that you have brought to me.. I hope to be able to see you play Polo next year and win it again... times will be missed and memories will be kept... our memories always stay in the back of my mind... every single day In hall is spent with you all... and I know that I never regret being close to you all... because I really cherish these friends...I know if anything happens to me in future, you will also be one of the first to get to know it too.... bro, really thanks for all that you have given to me, the laughter, the smile, the trainings, the outings, the meals and everything....Gay buddy... you are the best...

To Jackie Lao Da:

"zai wo shen ming zhong de mei yi tian"... is the song we sang together... I always listened to it these days too.... Lao da, we have known each other for really the shortest time... if I am not wrong, should be about 2 months? but these 2 months went by quite fast... and everyday , I realised our friendship improved bit by bit...I really cannot remember how we know each other.. I only remember that you look super arrogant the first time I met you... haha... and after that a total impression of u... you were the super tok cock person... You were the one there when I needed a shoulder to lean on... when I fell, you accompanied me to the clinic, reminded me to take my medicine...forbid me to go swimming (in case i pollute the pool and incase i get infected also)....give me morning calls when I really needed one.... comes up to my room to help me with my work and presents when I have really No energy to think....have breakfast and lunch with me when it is time for food...allowed me to sit on your shoulders when i have difficulty viewing the IH cheerleading...swim together and coach me simple polo... forced me to jump off the platform right into the diving pool... calls me Ah neh... You are also one who cares for me a lot... super big bro kind of guy... someone who I can count on when I have problems... whenever I have any worry, I will just go to you...I really miss the sessions when we have heart to heart talks, the days where we go out for meals..the days when we just feel bored and chat on MSN... Lao Da, thanks for being there every single moment of my day... I really cannot imagine life without u 3 now... for now it's very hard for me to adapt... thanks for making my these 2 months so happy... I know I will be seeing and hearing more of u when u and my bro is back in Navy... but I just wanna say this "Lao Da, you made me realise how good I can be, and how important friendship is".... thanks for standing beside me all this while.. I know that what we hold on together between us is a strong bond that can never break... thanks...

thanks to all that have given me joy and laughter this half a year in hall 3....